Saturday, May 20, 2006

i'm in love again!

Anyway, just a side-track, I was just thinking if I have a pre-disposition to getting mentally ill. What a weird thought. Then I was musing - if I am ever pre-disposed to any mental illness, it might be bipolar disorder. Anyway, I thought it's funny, after watching a video in which a nurse commented that she just loved manics - for their flight of ideas, excitement and energy. Oh well. I choose to believe I have a sound mind though sometimes it just doesnt seem like it. ;)

Cell group was great! I'm not saying this just to sound spiritual or what, but it truly was for me today. A breakthrough is coming! HX commented that testimony was good - yay. Thank you Jesus! This is direct affirmation from God.. I was praying on the train ride there.. cos I was really tired after the whole week. I feel like I'm almost on empty...like you know, you just feel drained. So I was worried I'd be stuck for words. But somehow the words just came and I knew what to say. God is good.

And man, this week's BS was tremendous. You know, certain days you just feel that BS was normal.. etc. But this week, God really spoke to me..

Deut 4:24 - For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.

Bro Bob talked about how your heart beats with a different delight when you receive a touch from God. Recently, I found myself thinking about what the 5 years of being a Christian has meant and I wondered how to continue walking with God. It was a period of dryness.

God is not satisfied with 99.9% of me, only 100% will do. Knowing what He has done for us on the cross.. the kind of love He has.. only 100% will do. Nothing less. He'd not have me worship a dream or a goal that I'm trying to reach. Because He is a jealous God.

Yep, so the only way to continually walk with God is to continually do just that, continually getting a touch, a new revelation that takes us to the next level.

And I was looking at an earlier entry in which I wrote about prophesying to 2006. Yes, I'll do that! I talked about being sharp, anointed, dynamic.. etc. I guess those things leave some people thinking that I'm over-zealous. But really, I was reminded of a conversation that Xt and I had a very long time ago. What was natural and normal in the Bible days has become a supernatural and out-of-the-ordinary for us today. Josaiah became a king at 8. Now we talk about people becoming Prime Ministers in their 50s or 60s. We are far off from Bible standards today. Why should we live by the standards of this world? Why can't we aspire something greater than ourselves? Why are we confessing so many things like "sian ah", "no hope lor"? Honestly, on good days, I feel sick listening to this.

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